"MOVING BILLBOARDS"

Some of us share our causes, opinions, political favorites within our family/ close friend groups. Others, myself included, aren't so shy. During the Dubya decline, I'm pretty sure anyone looking at my cars backside, knew where I stood! I think of it as my free billboard space. During a stressful commute, bumper stickers make for some free reading material aka minor distraction. How else might you learn at a glance; Who is a proud parent? Who's against civil rights equality for all? Who displays not only the number of their children but, their names and ages for the peodophiles? Who loves a certain breed of dog? Who attended what college? You get my point. I also enjoy reading the clever little license plate holders some include. My two comments/opinions on these at the end). I say express yourself. This way, the perverts know the number of kids as well as, their names. We'll be able to spot the close minded bigots from the distance. You may actually bring something worthwhile to someone's attention. Or, change a closed mind. Even if not, I'm out here and I'm reading! Okay re: plate holders, one that makes me gag every time are princess comments! If you're old enough to drive, you're beyond princess stage! Get over yourself! Two, why do the majority keep the dealer's ad on the car? Which is what the plate holder is. Do you benefit by providing free advertising? I've always just been mildly curious about that. Be safe all!

"IGNORANT OR JUST PLAIN AS$HOLE?"

I suspect unfortunately most times it's the second choice. Seems our vehicles provide a sense of anonymity that many times brings out the worst in us! After all, I think the majority wouldn't act so blatant in face to face interactions. For example, I've never been at the grocery store and seen someone just cut a person off in line. Something I've seen hundreds if not thousands of times while driving. For instance, drivers I call "merger maggots". Two lanes are merging, easy and simple in theory. Car A, car B, repeat. Until an as$hole human gets in the mix. Situations A: cars entering the freeway,"wait my turn? No way, I'm special! I'll cross the solid line and screw the process up for every driver around me, disrupt the flow of traffic. Who cares if they have the right of way?" Situation B: 3 or 4 signs warning drivers the lane is closed ahead, merge left or right. Sure enough here come the maggots, waiting till the last possible moment! "Screw the drivers they've just cut off! As long as they got that few extra feet. I tell you, there are times I can understand what causes freeway shootings. I don't condone it but, I can understand. I sometimes pretend the button of my emergency brake is a rocket launcher! Lol! It helps, sometimes. Then we have the turtles. The turtle drives 50-55 usually in the #3 lane which I don't have a problem with. I prefer the #1 or 2 myself. However, just the other day I had just entered the freeway, while working my way over, I was behind a turtle for a couple of minutes. Which was fine, I had one more lane change. My signals on, all clear, suddenly with no warning, the freaking turtle jumps the lane! Maintaining his speed! WTH?? So I jump into #1 in order to get away from this moving traffic barrier. I also blasted him and his car into dust! I mean really people, are you scared to keep up with the flow of traffic? That's okay, there's a solution, CITY STREETS! If you must use the freeway, stay to the right! Simple enough! Last but not least, lane leapers! My ex and I were on the freeway one night. Fairly moderate traffic. Things were flowing but, there were lots of cars. Traveling in the #3 lane which he prefers. To the right, cars are entering and exiting the freeway. To the left, fast approaching is a Mustang, leaping back and forth between lanes 1 and 2. Just as he came up parallel to us, he hit(or was hit)a vehicle in lane #2. The impact spun his car out and across four lanes of traffic, where it slammed into a compact that had just come onto the freeway! The poor driver, minding his own business, just trying to get up to freeway speed! In just seconds, his car was wrecked! Luckily, my ex had noticed this fool and was able to slow down enough that we weren't caught up in the crash. The Mustang was less than 100 yards away as it paseed right in front of our truck! I certainly prayed the guy in the compact walked away without any injuries that night. Aside from his car that is. I'm pretty sure his car was done. All because some As$hole was driving too fast in moderate conditions, cutting lanes and other cars!

"RUBBER NECKERS AKA LOOKIE LOOS"

What the hell is it about accidents or cops pulled over on the freeway, that makes many drivers hit the brakes? When I pass an accident scene, I pray that all involved are alive. That they will be okay. I NEVER slow down to look! To all the nosy drivers, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY! I wish they'd pull over and take a picture! To every busybody driver out there, either keep moving or pull over! Stop being a pain in the ass for other drivers like myself. I couldn't possibly be the only driver on the freeway who doesn't want to gawk at the misfortune of others? The commute is stressful enough! So, let's review, next time you see an accident scene, and you must know what's up? Pull over to the side, take pictures, offer to help. Just be sure to get out of the flow of traffic. Otherwise, maybe one day I'll be in the car behind you and I'll ram your trunk up your Ass!

"BRAKE LIGHT BINGO"

For nearly 10 years my commute for work was 48 miles round trip. Depending on factors such as; time of day/year, tourists in town, holidays, accidents, navy ships coming/going, etc... My commute ran anywhere from 30-60 mins. I realized early on that moving slowly is much, much better than continual stop and go. One afternoon while becoming almost hypnotized from the sea of red lights in front of me, I came up with a game. I call this game,"Brake Light Bingo". While traffic is moving, I allow a gap of approx. 100 yards(give or take)to open between my car and the one in front of me. It's inevitable that in a short while the reds will begin to blink on. In CA. there's never a shortage of drivers willing to ride your butt! Anyways, at this point I ease up on the gas into slow cruise mode. If it's done correctly, I don't use my brake, therefore I get a point! Weird, dorky, dumb? Maybe. Just a harmless activity I came up with to help me stay sane, pass the time, and to keep myself from ramming other cars as if it was demolition derby time on the freeway!(Just kidding. Maybe) Anyways, at first I tried for a low score of 5. As time passed I would aim higher. Overtime, it was a distraction. Most important, I never became a freeway sniper! Except in my imagination! Lol! Overall, I know my gas milage, brakes, overall wear and tear on the car was for the better. Most important, so was my mood once I finally arrived home!

"EXCUSE ME, THAT'S A CAR NOT A SALON"

So there I am sitting in stop and go traffic on the freeway. I'm alternating between daydreaming and playing a game I invented I call,"Brake Light Bingo". More on that another time. Anyways, eventually, like a beacon I become aware of a different type of light coming from inside the car ahead of me. Can't really miss it. Right above the drivers head, the rectangular shape is recognizable to all. I'm sure the mirror is put there with the best of intentions. However, in my experience, many humans don't have the sense they were born with and many times they do stupid things. Such as, applying makeup while sitting behind the wheel of a vehicle during the morning commute! Ladies don't get me wrong, if you enjoy painting your face on every day, more power to you. However, if you must put makeup on, do the rest of us a favor? Set your damn alarm 30 minutes earlier and put it on at home! Who lied and said your car was a salon? FYI it's a heavy machine that could kill you yourself or an innocent person in seconds. Someone who's minding their own business, driving to work, could actually never arrive due to your laziness and stupidity. I can't speak for anyone else, however when we're sharing the road, I feel a lot better if your hands and brain are where they should be! Who the hell are you and what gives you the right to put other drivers at risk? I can imagine some thinking, "I'm able to do both". To which I say,"bullshit, no you can't". Here's a thought, try to be a little less selfish. Put your face on safely. In the comfort of your very own bathroom! Thank you!

"CA CRAZIES IN CARS"

Hi, My name is Lynn. I've been one of the many "CA CRAZIES IN CARS" for 20+ years. I've seen a lot of crazy, ridiculous, dangerous, and/or simply stupid behavior from drivers over time. Being honest, I've committed a few myself. However, despite the anonymity our cars provide, must we be A'holes just because we can? After all, we wouldn't push our way to the front of the line at the grocery store. Yet, many seem to think it's their birthright to be merger maggots,(later post)in their cars. So this blog will touch on a list of 35+ behaviors I've observed on the roads over the years. Some, simply draw a shake of the head. Some, a not so nice gesture or word. Some, I truly wish a cop was around to see and stop the person. Just so I could drive by laughing and pointing. Bye for now. More soon to come.